Notre Dame

I have always had a problem with self confidence. My self image is quite dim at times. Self doubt is constantly eroding me. In Paris, there were several things that I wanted to see. Maybe it’s not what most people call interesting, but I’ve always wanted to see the flying buttresses of Notre Dame. The towering vaulted ceilings of this chapel have been a wonder since they were built almost a thousand years ago. No dome since the Pantheon approached this architectural splendor. After years of waiting, I stood in the square in front of the church with my father. I told him about my desire to see the Buttresses in back. “No son, Notre Dame doesn’t have buttresses, that didn’t come about until much later in the middle ages.” I stayed quiet while we entered the church. A model of the building stands in an alcove, buttresses and all. “Look dad, I guess Notre Dame does have flying buttresses.” He studied the model, then walked away without saying anything. Outside, we ate lunch at a cafe across the street. He asked me to point out the buttresses. He wanted more proof than my word. Visual proof only bought me respite from his disbelief.

That night at dinner, I was feeling depressed, so I was very quiet. dad said that he was disappointed that I wasn’t more entertaining. Those were his words. I said that I was sorry that my depression was disappointing to him “Yes it is, son.” I don’t see how I’ll forget that exchange.


Posted in Places. 5 Comments »

5 Responses to “Notre Dame”

  1. Manuel Says:

    Ouch, that is a harsh statement. Sorry about that. The pics rock!

  2. Randi Says:

    Move across the country! Grr!

    Honestly, I feel better limiting contact with my parents. Sad but true. My parents hobble me in so many ways…

    Sometimes, I think that family is a group of people you choose to call your own. Not necessarily the people you’re born into.

  3. jackalope Says:

    Randi hit it right on the nose. Family are not necessarily the people who raised you.I feel better limiting contact with my dad as well. We get along OK in small doses. My dad sounds quite similar to yours in some ways.

  4. jackalope Says:

    What is a flying buttress anyway? I am not up on my architectural terms.

  5. Nicola Says:

    It is not surprising you have have some self confidence issues when you have a father who continually puts you down in such a manner.

    Those photographs are stunning.

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