What is Sexuality to an individual? It’s the things that make you feel good, of course. Our society cataloged sexuality into two, and now, three groups. “Normal”, “Gay”, and “Other” (used to be “normal” and “freaks”)

How narrow minded is that? How much of the sexual spectrum is expressed in these narrow ways? I think sexuality, like many other things, exists on a spectrum. I was confronted by a slider on a recent website… M———-F

Where would you place yourself on this scale? I’ve struggled with identity problems, and seemingly reversed situations from time to time. The problem as I see it is that we SAY we want something. What we haven’t bothered to figure out is whether that something is enjoyable to us or not. Then we compound it by not asking for what we really want. Say, for instance, that you want something that’s out of the “Normal”? (Normal=7 th Heaven through Facts of Life)

How do you go about asking your “normal” date to do something else? I guess the answer is, you shouldn’t be going out with her/him in the first place. Now, here’s the crux of it…

How do you find someone? Remember, most people SAY they’re 7 th heaven, but MIGHT want something more like Elvira or Sex in the City. You probably won’t find out until you’re both naked, and that’s a vulnerable time to expose a secret desire. I’ve almost figured out where I stand on the scale. I love the female form; it’s what excites me. Personality means more to me after that. It sounds odd, but I find beauty in almost any woman. I like big butts, I like little breasts, and vice versa. Besides, society’s idea of beauty has been driven into me so convincingly, that I could never imagine anything else being beautiful. But which society? Europe has gone through many phases in their history were thin women were considered sick. Fat was Phat, baby. Why should I only see beauty the way society tells me to? That’s a transitory measure. That will lead me to ask the wrong person the right question.

As to what that question is, I suppose I’ll have to wait until I’m naked (eeek)

2 Responses to “Sexuality”

  1. Some girl Says:

    Interesting post. It’s amazing how the ideal beauty is so different all over the world.

  2. Nicola Says:

    Sorry to come to this post late in the day – but having found it, it bears discussion.

    I am female, hetrosexual – but my tastes and practices are very definately from the “other” category. They havent always been, they have developed over the years alongside the rest of me.

    There are ways to indicate your preferences before the *getting naked* stage. Thre are now numerous books and literature and magazines that possession of ( and subtle placement on bookshelves or coffee tables ) can indicate an interest or inclination. Also the clothes that we wear, a symbol or two on a watch, braceletor tie. I for instance always give leather trousers a second look ! Interesting artwork on the walls can also provide a signal and the opportunity for discussion before you get to the bedroom.

    A more obvious way is to join one of the numerous sites and forums that inhabit the internet. This is a lot less subtle and equates to a declartion of interest and intent. It does however open you up to a whole level of openess and vulnerability which is not always desirable when one is still finding ones place in the world of sexuality.

    For you I would suggest some nice artwork, subtle and interesting that would open up the discussion.

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