Twitch's Fortress of Solitude
I’m not a subtle guy. I’m too obtuse to be subtle. It’s not that I’m stupid, necessarily; I just have trouble reading even the simplest signals that women send me. I get the obvious ones; I’m not deaf, just obtuse. I know what kind of woman I’m looking for. She’s a nurturing person. It sounds cliché, but she’s not a cliché. That nurturing takes the form of acceptance, not mothering. In my experience, acceptance, Poly-egoism, is the product of a subtle mind. Hence, my problem.
It’s frustrating. I can be subtle at times, too subtle. Most of the women I approach after admiring from afar profess complete ignorance. Then they shrink away in that familiar way. Or, just wish me out of existence. It’s not hard; I’m not a stalker or a weirdo. I go away because, what’s the point? I talked to them in the first place because I wanted… to be wanted, that’s all.
Maybe the personality archetype that I’ve chosen as my perfect counterpart isn’t that at all. As i think back on the women i’ve been irresistibly drawn to, they’re pretty similar to each other. Smart, intellectual, committed to something. In the 80’s they were deadheads, flowing, flowery skirts, long hair, an easy smile, and a light incense. Now, Now is no different from then, really. They’ve grown up, along with me, I suppose, but they’re easy to spot. They stand out in a crowd, they’re special. They’re just not interested in a dry-witted tinkerer. I’m an anachronism, prone to the grand gesture, and that’s scary to a lot of people. The irony is that I’m not a scary guy. It took me 3 weeks and 20 pictures to convince the lady at the office that “Smush the Puddy” didn’t mean Smash the Cat. I can’t even share my cat baby talk with an office co worker without being misunderstood. … and she likes me. So, if you see a clumsy gorilla walking up to you in a bar, don’t be too hasty next time. He might just be obtuse in more than one way.