Twitch's Fortress of Solitude
I’m not a subtle guy. I’m too obtuse to be subtle. It’s not that I’m stupid, necessarily; I just have trouble reading even the simplest signals that women send me. I get the obvious ones; I’m not deaf, just obtuse. I know what kind of woman I’m looking for. She’s a nurturing person. It sounds cliché, but she’s not a cliché. That nurturing takes the form of acceptance, not mothering. In my experience, acceptance, Poly-egoism, is the product of a subtle mind. Hence, my problem.
It’s frustrating. I can be subtle at times, too subtle. Most of the women I approach after admiring from afar profess complete ignorance. Then they shrink away in that familiar way. Or, just wish me out of existence. It’s not hard; I’m not a stalker or a weirdo. I go away because, what’s the point? I talked to them in the first place because I wanted… to be wanted, that’s all.
Maybe the personality archetype that I’ve chosen as my perfect counterpart isn’t that at all. As i think back on the women i’ve been irresistibly drawn to, they’re pretty similar to each other. Smart, intellectual, committed to something. In the 80’s they were deadheads, flowing, flowery skirts, long hair, an easy smile, and a light incense. Now, Now is no different from then, really. They’ve grown up, along with me, I suppose, but they’re easy to spot. They stand out in a crowd, they’re special. They’re just not interested in a dry-witted tinkerer. I’m an anachronism, prone to the grand gesture, and that’s scary to a lot of people. The irony is that I’m not a scary guy. It took me 3 weeks and 20 pictures to convince the lady at the office that “Smush the Puddy” didn’t mean Smash the Cat. I can’t even share my cat baby talk with an office co worker without being misunderstood. … and she likes me. So, if you see a clumsy gorilla walking up to you in a bar, don’t be too hasty next time. He might just be obtuse in more than one way.

3 Responses to “Signals”

  1. Some Girl Says:

    Oh god I just want to give you a hug! Don’t give up hun, you’re not alone in feeling the way you feel. Even on the girls side its just as bad. Keep at it, you will find her.

  2. Gidget Bones Says:

    I think you’re fine! Be yourself, and you will meet the woman you are looking for when you least expect it. Don’t worry about the women that slink away. It happens to us all!
    Remember the proverb “Good things comes to those who wait”.

  3. npanth Says:

    I met her once in front of an Atlanta Bread Company. I was on a blind date. We started chatting, it was clicking. She seemed really interested. She moved closer… and then my blind date walked up and said hello to me.

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