Rock, Paper, Scissors, HAMMER!

So, Tom “The Hammer” Delay is quitting.
Not only will he not be seeking re-election in 2006.
Not only will he be vacating his congressional seat within two months.
He WILL be moving out of the state! From Texas to Virginia.
That’s like the Lone Ranger telling Tonto that he wants to Drop out and Tune in.
That’s like Scooby letting Shaggy have the Scooby treats.
That’s like Duke Cunningham Demanding his day in court.
Oh, yeah. Remember that one? The Duke-Stir stood in front of the Capitol building demanding a speedy trial, so he could go back to the people’s business. 8 months later, he’s crying in front of a courthouse. Delay’s announcement had that same ring to it.
Mad, with a nervous twitch. He knows this is the big one. He could really go to jail over this. Being a martyr isn’t nearly as fun as getting away with it.
I guess he still has the diehard neo cons batting for him, right? Not so much. Unless they change their tune, most of the neo-con hierarchy is trying to look busy. I think he’ll get support from the “Religious Right”. He all but put out the Bat signal asking for help “from his faith”. Look for a lot more “War on Christianity” stuff coming out this summer.
Not a bad idea, actually. Delay can rely on a large grassroots organization to move mountains for him. He’ll need it, too. They call him “The Hammer” because he’s wielded power in Washington in a Big Stick kind of way. His friends rally to him because they owe him something, not out of loyalty. Abermoff looks like the vehicle for those favors. The Texas State Legislature was the mark. It was an intricate loop of financing and politics. Shakespeare had something to say about getting tangled up in one’s own lies. Now that it’s coming at him from both the financial and political sides, Delay doesn’t have a lot of wiggle room. His best angle may be to play the ultra Neo-Con Religious poster boy. Until he stands in front of a courthouse crying over a statement.

One Response to “Rock, Paper, Scissors, HAMMER!”

  1. Scottage Says:

    Great post! But I always wanted Shaggy to get the Scooby snacks…it would serve him right. Please tell me you haven’t tried the Amber snacks.

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